This is my last weekend in New york city. The past two months inspired me a lot. I feel the pace matched, i kind of fit in. After all, it's an city of Amazingness. lol it's a seamless city, filled with so many things waiting there for you to discover. But as of every big city, the glory comes with shadow. You feel the loneliness, irresponsibleness, filth, being swallowed. You need peace here. However, there is always an however to make you love a thing regardless of those crappies, ATTITUDES TRUMPS.
Once in a while, you will feel depressed, everyone does. Once in a while, you will feel happy, and grateful. Life is a process that you need to savor and learn to appreciate. Once you take everything as grounded, you never aware how lucky you are.
I don't know why. Sometimes i always do thing against my true wiliness. Guess i am just a coward, afraid of embracing who i am, who i now turned into after all those years. My mind looses, drifts. I burst into cry out of no where. I miss my parents, but hesitate reaching them. I need friends, but i am scare to have one. Always whispering to myself, hey, be tough, be strong, the more i said so, i feel more vulnerable. Good old time is a mysterious thing, it always looks so pure, so bright. By then , our mind is so straight forward, no twist, no wondering, no guessing. We are truly happy. Gosh, i am being so negative now.
i want to have my own gang! Someone you can count on no matter what. Nothing comes easy, and nothing comes without price. And PATIENT. Learn how to enjoy life by myself, then other things will follow and come. Like happiness.
July 30th, back to Boston!
