Poem of the Autumn

Poema Otoño de José Hierro

Otoño de manos de oro.
Ceniza de oro tus manos dejaron caer al camino.
Ya vuelves a andar por los viejos paisajes desiertos.
Ceñido tu cuerpo por todos los vientos de todos los siglos.
Otoño, de manos de oro:
con el canto del mar retumbando en tu pecho infinito,
sin espigas ni espinas que puedan herir la mañana,
con el alba que moja su cielo en las flores del vino,
para dar alegria al que sabe que vive
de nuevo has venido.
Con el humo y el viento y el canto y la ola temblando,
en tu gran corazón encendido.

De “Quinta del 42″ 1952

2012的那个夏天（2）

5月28日 我们去了R grandparents以前的住处Appenzel， 这是一个美丽的小城，有着陶渊明采菊东南下的感觉。我的apls初体验也就从这个美丽小镇开始了。记得那天车里的cd放着Wir sind Helden的歌，记得那天他告诉我他小时候在这玩滑梯，把自己的舌头咬了。经过一段艰难的
雪山hiking，我们在海拔1924米的Ebenalp吃到了美味的土豆丝饼，也不知是因为山顶寒冷还是的确新鲜手工制作，R 说这土豆丝饼比他记忆中最美味的外婆手做的还好吃。我觉得他就是觉得和我在一起很幸福罢了，哈哈。下山时，我在草地里瞎跑，他给我拍照，说我太傻了。结果回到停车场，看到扁了一个轮胎的车子时，我才是真的傻了呢。还好一个电话，客服就很快来帮忙换了备用胎，我俩大眼瞪小眼，真心觉得运气真好，这漏气没有在来的路上发生。真是乐观的2个家伙。

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

R: If your heart is not there, don't worry. Mine is always with you.

R, you know, in chinese, there's a saying, wherever my heart rests, wherever is my home. (此心安处是吾乡). You are my home.

2012的那个夏天（1）

转眼入秋，夏天的美好时光还是历历在目。没想到就这么去了欧洲，去了巴黎，去了罗马，和我心爱的人一起。这个夏天，阳光格外灿烂。

有时会想，为什么有的人可以把3天的时光写成一本小说。想来必是因为每一分每一秒都那么让人珍惜，尤其是那是你仅有的一段回忆。记得ICA,Boston的doris salcedo的展览中有这么一句话“ when a person disappears, everything becomes impregnated with that person's presence. every single object as well as every space is a reminder of that person's absence, as if absence were stronger than presence." 我并不完全赞同他的话，能在身边一起历经日出日落，花开花谢才是真正的生活。可细细想来，这是要有多深的情感才能一直保存这这份对absence的强烈感触。也就是因为在一起的时光那么有限，而把每一分每一秒都放大了在慢镜头下回味，想念。其实，说来觉得感伤，其实也就是这回味让你更明白这份感情的真实和重要。

如果让我写本书，把我们的点点滴滴都虚拟化了，我想这故事还是从波士顿开始，但我想念的他在苏黎世，我也就从我飞机落地的那一刻开始回忆吧。

5月25日中午11点左右，我顺利抵达了苏黎世机场，待收集了行李，走出海关，就看到那张熟悉的笑脸。他穿着那件红色的super dry t恤，给了我一个大大的拥抱。出了机场，这个城市就开始慢慢地向我讲述着它的故事。第一印象，仿佛到了一个童话世界，不是因为有蓝天白云，不是因为有绿草雪山，而是因为交通标志都设计十分别致，似乎都缩小了一号，和苏黎世小小的街道还有干练现代的tram一起给了我十分美好的第一印象。

--------------

R: I am not in a hurry to see you, because i know our relationship is strong enough. I am not afraid of being apart for several years, because i know once we meet again, we will never be apart for good decades. 

I love you, R. I know our love is the best, because it is the kind of love that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you.

欧洲之行第一站－瑞士签证

几经周折定下来要开始漫长的博士生涯，想着这开始受苦受难前也好好犒劳犒劳自己一把，所以也就厚着脸皮和妈妈申请了旅游经费。而且在Rainer的盛情邀请下，我的欧洲之行也就拉开了帷幕。

第一步自然就是准备签证了。经过一番调查研究，我在东西也没准备完全的情况下，就奔去纽黑文找我亲爱的kelly同学了。呆了3天后，以前准备就绪，就坐着早班火车来到了纽约的瑞士consulate。好吧。。说得有点乱。我先把准备的材料清单给贴一个。除了必要的材料外，我还准备了一个cover letter 解释了下自己的身份情况。opt期间，虽然也是f-1，但还是需要好好解释一下。

Original and copy of passport
 Visa Application Form
 Two recent passport photos
Copy of F-1 Visa , copies of Three I-20  and photocopy of EAD card. 
Copy of my flight reservation （我是email 法航，然后直接给我除了reservation letter，非常给力）
 Bank statements from last 3 months （打印的就可以了）
 Letter from xx University, copy of Ph.D. admission letter, Proof of enrollment of my Master program and a letter from my landlady.
Letter from my insurance company。
当然了，也别忘了让邀请人在你去之前就把invitation letter fax 到consulate。


准备好东西，第二天从grand central 出来，走了5分钟就到了目的地 633 3ave. （open time: 8：30－12：00). 在使馆对面39街的拐角处，就有一个fedex，可以去那里办一个self-addressed envelope, 很方便。然后我就屁颠屁颠地走进了633。


进门接待处有2个大叔，你报上名说要去swiss consulate,然后他就指导你打电话上去。似乎记得是先拨1，然后再拨2。。不管了。。就让大叔帮你拨号。然后你报一下你的名字给电话里的前台小姐。出示身份证件后，就拿到一个门禁卡了。。非常没有必要的一个环节。（如图）

电梯上到30楼，左手边就是瑞士使馆，室内设计还满简洁大方的，竟然还陈列了freitag的包包。我拿了70号，然后就乖乖坐着等了。人超少，就等了一个号。

就在图中左边的窗口，我给签证官解释了下我出行的目的，我的身份情况。然后跟着他一起过了一遍我的材料。然后刷卡交钱，就all set 了～~我问：过了吗？他对我眨眨眼，一笑，说恩，没问题。10点15进的大楼，10点45分就顺利签证出来了。

2天后我就收到了护照，竟然非常慷慨地给了我3个月～～～撒花。

一直没有搜到非常详细的美国f-1,opt 期间欧洲申根签证的帖子，希望自己的经验能给兄弟姐妹们一点帮助。

现在我就成了每天泡穷游看攻略的小蚂蚁了，stay tuned..

Garden Diary- Day 17

Still no sign of sprouting.

Garden Diary- Day Four

With the temperature spikes to above 25 centigrade,  it officially turns into Spring. My roses still haven't showed any sign of sprouting. Usually, it takes 2-8 weeks...( damn, such a huge range, no accuracy required here.)

Tomorrow, the once a year Boston Marathon will pump the entire bean town. It gonna be super hot. Can you feel the heat? ;-)

Simple Joy

细雨斜风作小寒， 
淡烟疏柳媚晴滩. 
入淮清洛渐漫漫， 
雪沫乳花浮午盏. 
蓼茸蒿笋试春盘， 
人间有味是清欢. 

- 苏轼

Garden Diary- Day One

Day One- Sowing


Under the excitement of joy and fear, I sowed these rose seeds into the trays. I named it Emma, the name I want to give to my first daughter. The universal conceptual meaning of the name EMMA will grant her and my rose everything I wanted for her, everything the universe already expanded in front of her.

To my love- Rainer

A Name-A-Rose Gift Box

Today I got a surprise gift box. It was a Name-A-Rose gift box, and it came with all those cute ideas and  sweet rose leaflets. Thank you my honey for giving me such a unique and sweet gift. I am not sure about how those rose seeds will end up...;-) lol. I can feel all the love you have for me, and it is reaaaaaaally sweet. <3

 My little garden corner 

-------------------

Rose of all the World 

by D.H.Lawrence 

I am here myself; as though this heave of effort

At starting other life, fulfilled my own;

Rose-leaves that whirl in colour round a core

Of seed-specks kindled lately and softly blown

By all the blood of the rose-bush into being -

Strange, that the urgent will in me, to set 

My mouth on hers in kisses, and so softly

To bring together two strange sparks, beget

Another life from our lives, so should send

The innermost fire of my own dim soul out-spinning

And whirling in blossom of flame and being upon me!

That my completion of manhood should be the beginning

Another life from mine! For so it looks.

The seed is purpose, blossom accident.

The seed is all in all, the blossom lent

To crown the triumph of this new descent.

Is that it, woman? Does it strike you so?

The Great Breath blowing a tiny seed of fire

Fans out your petals for excess of flame,

Till all your being smokes with fine desire?

Or are we kindled, you and I, to be

One rose of wonderment upon the tree

Of perfect life, and is our possible seed

But the residuum of the ecstasy?

How will you have it? - the rose is all in all,

Or the ripe rose-fruits of the luscious fall?

The sharp begetting, or the child begot?

Our consummation matters, or does it not?

To me it seems the seed is just left over

From the red rose-flowers' fiery transience;

Just orts and slarts; berries that smoulder in the bush

Which burnt just now with marvellous immanence.

Blossom, my darling, blossom, be a rose

Of roses unchidden and purposeless; a rose

For rosiness only, without an ulterior motive;

For me it is more than enough if the flower unclose.  

-----------------------

A morning song for you, my love

Thoughts to Ponder

- When love visits you, you hesitate, ponder, then either embrace it or simply run away. People always say it takes two to dance. When you are not on the same steps, dancing alone might be better off. But really? Should you give it more time to sync? For me, 90% chance that I will run away. Sometimes, It's like diving into the abyss, with the hope that your partner will keep you safe and won't take off when the show is not exciting enough.


- Having lunch with you is even more fun than going party in Las Vegas, cherry blossom watching in Washington, fishing in the amazon river, or lying on the Miami south beach, partly because in your red shirt you are like a beam of happy glowing sunshine ,or partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for hot chocolate, partly because of the unspoken words flowing in the tidy distance between us, partly because of the scattered arranged teeth you showed me when I was not happy. It is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as peaceful as pleasant as calm as satisfying when right in the moment in the warm Miami 7 o'clock light spread on us from the airplane window, we are leaning against each other, reading, smiling. I look at you and I know you will look back, and your smile will warm me up.

Shirley Temple

At national portait galley in D.C., I saw a picture of Shirley Temple.  The light metallic sound stomp dancing shoes made flew into my mind. Shirley is such a sweetheart. When I was little, I watched many of her shows. 10 out of 10 times, she made me holding my belly and laugh for minutes. 

Memories like the goldfish

It is a myth that goldfish have short memories. Sometimes I wish I were a goldfish. 7 seconds of memory. Turn around then forget everything.

Boston Through My Lens

BOSTON IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CITY IN THE WORLD, NOT ONE OF. 

A Fight

It has been 17 days since mom arrived. The feeling is mixed: cherished, joyful, impatient, caged, struggling. When you have forged your own life, a piece of parental visiting will break the balance. When I look at my dear mom, I feel the responsibility to take care of her. When she judge my life style, I want her to back off so badly. I know I shouldn't be so impatient, thinking about how she treated me when i was a child. I don't know how to make a move in my life when my parents are around. I am so used to travel my journey alone. It's impossible to explain your ideas to them, they can't understand. I hate to confront her, but I hate to struggle. Sometimes, I think it's not her problem, it's my own demon. I got paranoid when she judged my hairstyle, even when she tried to touch my face when I went to bed. I am so afraid she will change me. I know she wants the best for me, but what she thinks is best for me, is not what I want. I love my mom, but the struggle of not losing myself is such a big challenge. Well, guess this is just another "camp" I have to survive.
------------------------------------
Mother, you gave me life.
You watched over me,
and delighted in my first smile,
my first word,
my first step.
Your hands washed me,
picked me up when I fell,
combed the snarls out of my hair,
caressed me.
The years passed...

I grew and I rebelled,
I needed to be myself,
I needed to figure out life,
experience pain,
make the step,
and get up on my own.
Please still watch over me,
please trust me,
and be there for me.
------------------------------------------

Don't worry, maybe mom won't be that judgmental.
After all, she always wants me to be happy.

只有在你们眼里我才是孩子

刚刚看到一个大姐写的文章，提到只有在长辈的眼里，自己无论多大，就算已经是两鬓斑白，还是孩子。

突然想到这几天爷爷住院，爸爸住在奶奶家陪床看护，想到爸爸妈妈头上越来越多的白发，想到老爸老妈眼里那个永远都是他们的宝宝长不大的孩子，泪流满面。

养育之恩重如山，父母亲情永不忘。直到现在还喜欢坐在妈妈的腿上撒娇，直到现在还喜欢从后面趴在爸爸的背上摇啊摇啊。想到在不久的十年，二十年，妈妈的膝盖再也承受不了我的重量，爸爸的背也弯了，内心好难受。

每当听到有老人家过辈的消息，总是很害怕。女儿能在家陪伴爸妈的日子好短，小时候不懂事不知道体贴爸妈，长大了却又无法长伴父母膝边，想到老来无儿女相伴的日子，觉得自己好不孝。

也许生活本是如此艰辛无奈，得到的多失去的也多。这血浓于水的缘分，也只是短短几十载，珍惜每次在爸妈身边的机会，给他们带去最贴心的关怀。现在总是提醒爸妈注意身体，希望他们不要有大病大灾，希望他们健健康康的，希望他们能等着我让他们享福，希望等我也退休了和妈妈一起去逛公园，逛商场，多么美好的场景啊。

等我50岁的时候，我还要抱着我的爸爸 抱着我的妈妈 当爸妈的老孩子。

小城故事

每个临河的城市必有一条江滨大道，在南方的小镇屡屡可见。常山也有一样，江对面是偏僻的山林，住着零星几户人家，还有已故亲人的坟墓。那时候，两岸用小船连成的浮桥连接着，过往的人和河里嬉戏的孩童好不热闹。后来，浮桥没了，城南也开发了，江滨也一起建起了防洪大坝，便再也不热闹了。

“你在哪呢”“我在防洪大坝啊!”大概80%的常山人都说过这句话，特别是在夏天。然后这段大坝不在江滨，而在城的另一边，从马上就要出城的东苑小区的尽头一直延伸到城南的定阳桥，约1000多米。要是不尽性就会穿过兰桂苑小区，绕到人民广场爬到“塔山“转一圈再原路返回。

吃完晚饭去防洪大坝走走，有的和我一样想锻炼身体，甩掉肥肉，有的结伴走走聊聊，有的散步纳凉。不过如果你想做个独行侠，似乎不是个好选择，因为一路走来不碰上三五个熟人简直就是mission impossible.凉风习习，波光粼粼，偶尔还有音乐响起，防洪大坝是每个常山人心中记忆。

人民广场也是不能不说，那原来是好多人的母校，爸妈的母校，我的母校，好几代的人回忆。后来学校搬迁，这里就依山建起了塔山公园和人民广场。塔山的塔，指的是文峰塔，始建于宋，流传着和严嵩有关的故事。以前大家在文峰塔边上升旗做早操，现在的妈妈们在塔边上锻炼身体，跳舞练拳。虽说塔山不大也不高，但走上个好几圈，也能把人累得气喘吁吁。以前我们在广场上跑步上体育课，现在的孩子们在广场玩轮滑，滑板，追逐，大人们每天跳广场舞，其乐融融。夏天广场还有音乐喷泉，既降温也是孩子们的最爱。

小城有着好多故事，过去，现在，未来，每天都在变化，好多记忆都变得模糊，不过我想防洪大坝和人民广场一定会深深地印在人们的记忆里的吧。

Dear Friend

The first time I saw you, you didn't seem to be very pleasing. Who knows later, our friendship would go this far. Knowing someone and changing my life could happen and also be not a love story. If it wasn't you, I don't believe that friends would more reliable than lovers. No matter how scatter-headed am I, no matter how much trouble I caused, you will always teasing at me first but always be there for me as well. You have seen the worsts of me, and you totally brought them out. And we still stay friends. I guess that's how magic works. Anyway, Good luck to you, and wish you all the best. It's a pleasure to have you as a truly good friend.

Someonelike you-Adele

A very nice chinese translation of this song. I don't want anyone like you, I wish I can always be there fore you. 

Someonelike you

另寻沧海--Adele
阿黛拉

I heard, that your settled down.　　
已闻君，诸事安康。
That you, found a girl and you're married now.
遇佳人，不久婚嫁。
I heard that your dreams came true.　　
已闻君，得偿所想。
Guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you. 　　
料得是，卿识君望。
Old friend, why are you so shy?
旧日知己，何故张皇？
It ain't like you to hold back or hide from the lie.
遮遮掩掩，欲盖弥彰。
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
客有不速，实非我所想。
ButI couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.　　
避之不得，遑论与相抗。
I'd hoped you'd see my face that you'd be reminded,　　
异日偶遇，识得依稀颜。
That for me, it isn't over.
再无所求，涕零而泪下。

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.　　
毋须烦恼，终有弱水替沧海。
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.　　
抛却纠缠，再把相思寄巫山。
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:
勿忘昨日，亦存君言于肺腑。
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"　　
“情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜。
”Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.　　
情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜，然。

You'd know, how the time flies.
光阴常无踪，词穷不敢道荏苒。
Only yesterday, was the time of our lives.　　
欢笑仍如昨，今却孤影忆花繁。
We were born and raised in a summe haze.　　
彼时初执手，夏雾郁郁湿衣衫。
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.　　
自缚旧念中，诧喜荣光永不黯。
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
客有不速，实非我所想。
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.　　
避之不得，遑论与相抗。
I'd hoped you'd see my face that you'd be reminded,　　
异日偶遇，识得依稀颜。
That for me, it isn't over.
再无所求，涕零而泪下。
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.　　
毋须烦恼，终有弱水替沧海。
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.　　
抛却纠缠，再把相思寄巫山。
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:
勿忘昨日，亦存君言于肺腑。
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"　　
“情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜。
”Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.　　
情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜，然。

Nothing compares, no worries or cares.　　
无可与之相提，切莫忧心同挂念。
Regrets and mistakes they're memories made.　　
糊涂遗恨难免，白璧微瑕方可恋。
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?　　
此中酸甜苦咸，世上谁人堪相言？
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.　　
毋须烦恼，终有弱水替沧海。
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.　　
抛却纠缠，再把相思寄巫山。
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:
勿忘昨日，亦存君言于肺腑。
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"　　
“情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜。
”Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.　　
情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜，然。

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.　　
毋须烦恼，终有弱水替沧海。
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.　　
抛却纠缠，再把相思寄巫山。
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:
勿忘昨日，亦存君言于肺腑。
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"　　
“情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜。
”Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.　　
情堪隽永，也善心潮掀狂澜，然。